


Welcome, darkknight. We hope you brought pizza.

by mars_morpheus



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Discord - Freeform, Jerome Valeska Lives, Multi, Sort Of, With A Twist, like with phones and stuff, not like in the show, so basically same premise but with memes?, yet another groupchat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27096283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mars_morpheus/pseuds/mars_morpheus
Summary: A list of consecutive events:1. Selina Kyle left her phone unlocked.2. Bruce Wayne gave into his curiosity and picked it up.3. A new member joined the Legion of Horribles Discord server.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 36





	1. The Art of the Username

Bruce was, if nothing else, a gentleman. At least, he hoped he qualified for the title. But he was also Batman (it was a rough-draft of a name, admittedly), and he had to be alert to criminal activity at any given time, so when his criminal best friend Selina left her phone unlocked on the couch next to him, he felt somewhat obligated to pick it up.

Selina Kyle was sort of a grey-area exception to Bruce's general anti-crime stance. He didn't like that she provided for herself by stealing, but he'd offered countless times to help her, and it seemed that she was perfectly happy to continue as she was - and what kind of friend would Bruce be if he turned her in? The most he could do was look disappointed and try to convince her otherwise when he caught her on patrol. Now, though, she was safely at his house, using his Netflix to watch The Office, and he could certainly take a quick look for any tips as to other crimes she might know about.

He was disappointed to find that she had only been scrolling through Instagram. This meant, first, that no information was instantly available, and, second, that he couldn't scroll any further without alerting her to his spying. He was also irritated to see that the image she had been looking at was from the same private meme account she was always sending him. She knew very well that Bruce Wayne couldn't just follow meme accounts.

The phone buzzed, and a banner slid down from the top of the screen. Bruce didn't get a good look at it before it retracted, but it was lucky - he might have forgotten to check her notifications without the reminder. He slid the screen down to read what was there. It was a notification from Discord.

> **zsasz-hands** : who knew murder could be so bORING

Well, that was concerning. Bruce frowned. Whoever 'zsasz-hands' was, they were probably talking about a video game, right? Probably.

Right?

He checked to make sure Discord wasn't already open, cast a nervous glance in the direction Selina had gone, and opened the app. He was immediately glad he did (and a little startled): the server's name was 'Legion of Horribles', and it wasn't likely that there would be a copycat group. It was a little surprising that they'd gone to Discord of all places, though. He guessed that 'zsasz-hands' must be Victor Zsasz, the assassin. What could Bruce do with this?

He found the server link and copied it into his own phone, just in time to erase his tracks before Selina came back. This was either a great idea, or a very, very bad one.

That night, Bruce lay on his bed staring intently at his phone screen. He had to pick a username in order to join Discord. What was something villainous-sounding? It couldn't use his own name, or anything Bat-related, and it couldn't be too ridiculous. He had to fit in if he didn't want to be kicked immediately. What sounded dark? Oh, he could use dark. Dark what? Dark Avenger? Bloody Darkness? No, that was stupid. Dark Lord? Pretentious and already in Star Wars. Dark Knight? ...That might work.

He put in the link, and a message popped up in the #announcements channel.

> Welcome, **darkknight**. We hope you brought pizza.


	2. Chapter 2

> **Penguin🐧☂️** : @darkknight Who are you??

What was Bruce going to say? He had to pass himself off as one of them. From what he knew about Oswald Cobblepot, he wasn't easily fooled, so he'd have to play his cards carefully. Maybe if he was extremely cryptic?

> **darkknight** : someone whose interests may align with yours.
> 
> **Penguin** 🐧☂️: Unfortunately, friend, this is not an open server. Move along.

Bruce hurried to respond before Penguin could kick him.

> **darkknight** : you think I'm with the police, or a regular civilian, don't you?
> 
> **darkknight** : I'll prove otherwise.
> 
> **Penguin** 🐧☂️: And what proof would you present?
> 
> **darkknight** : what proof would you accept?
> 
> Penguin was typing for a while. Bruce held his breath. At last, the message popped up.
> 
> **Penguin** 🐧☂️: In exchange for allowing you into this server, you'll get us some information.

Information? That was an odd request. He hoped he'd be able to follow through - this server was an invaluable opportunity for Batman.

> **darkknight** : what kind of information?

There was another long pause. Another user started typing after a minute, and another message appeared with startling speed.

> **Jeremiah** : Information on Bruce Wayne.
> 
> **Penguin** 🐧☂️: Why would you get to make that call, Valeska?
> 
> **Jeremiah** : Dibs

Bruce hadn't considered that Jeremiah would be here. It didn't exactly surprise him that the lunatic wanted to know about him - after all, he'd been dangerously obsessive ever since Jerome had gassed him - but it was, admittedly, unexpected to be confronted by him now. Also, Jeremiah had never struck him as the sort of person who would call dibs, but perhaps the gas had something to do with that. On the bright side, this would be an easy answer (presumably).

> **darkknight** : what do you want to know?

Jeremiah's answer came quickly again.

> **Jeremiah** : I want everything you can find on his feelings for me. By midafternoon tomorrow.

That was not an easy answer at all. Even Bruce wasn't sure how he felt toward Jeremiah. After all, they'd been friends, or he'd thought they were before the engineer had betrayed and attacked him. Maybe there was a part of him that missed their relationship, but he tried not to think about it. It hurt to. Still, he was going to have to say something if he wanted to stay.

> **Jeremiah** : PM me when you have it.

At least, he supposed, it wasn't going to be that public. Not that he wanted his personal feelings laid bare before Jeremiah of all people.

> **darkknight** : agreed.
> 
> **xx_poison_ivy_xx** : welcome to the server!!! everyone introduce yourselves

That must be Ivy Pepper. She and Selina were friends, he knew; she didn't seem as bad as most of the rest of the members.

> **xx_poison_ivy_xx** : i'm ivy, i do fun witchy stuff with plants lmao
> 
> **Victor F** ❄️: I'm Dr. Victor Fries, will also answer to Freeze
> 
> **Victor F** ❄️: common mispronunciation :/
> 
> **zsasz-hands** : ^^DO NOT HIT ON he does NOT appreciate it (trust me)
> 
> **zsasz-hands** : also i'm vic zsasz, hitman, memelord, work of living art😜
> 
> **kittycat :3** : dead memes maybe
> 
> **kittycat :3** : cat, or selina
> 
> **scarecrow** 🎃: i'm jonathan/scarecrow. either works mostly.
> 
> **xx_poison_ivy_xx** : youre BABEY
> 
> **scarecrow** 🎃: i am fear
> 
> **FIREFLY** : my name is Firefly
> 
> **FIREFLY** : i set stuff on fire
> 
> **riddle.me.this** : I'm the Riddler! Brains of the operation right here!
> 
> **Jeremiah** : That's a boldfaced untruth, Nygma. @ **darkknight** , I assume you know who I am.

He assumed correctly. At least Jerome wasn't in the server - he couldn't be, being dead. Bruce had always hoped that Jerome could be redeemed, but it was too late now. Maybe it had always been too late for him. Still, Bruce expected that he would be insufferable in this sort of setting.

A buzzing startled Bruce from sleep much later. He picked up his phone, blinking to focus his eyes.

He saw the notification and froze.

> **clownboiii || jerome** : you guys were talking without meeeeeee????????? RUDE


	3. Chapter 3

Bruce's phone buzzed painfully early the next morning. He fumbled around his nightstand for it, squinting blearily at the screen. It was (of course) a Discord notification.

> **Jeremiah** : Do you have my information?

Right. This. He groaned and unlocked his phone, thinking of what he could say.

> **darkknight** : yes

He had to say something, but what? _He hates you? He doesn't hate you?_ It was too early for this.

> **darkknight** : he's conflicted
> 
> **darkknight** : he feels betrayed by you. you acted like his friend, but all along you were only using him.

That was true. But -

> **darkknight** : but he still misses you, being close to you. he believes you're not all gone
> 
> **darkknight** : the you he thought he knew
> 
> **darkknight** : he hasn't given up on you

Bruce lay back, reading over the messages. Had he said too much? He'd just gotten wrapped up in trying to get outside of his own head, trying to act the part of somebody who wasn't involved. It was too hard to think about Jeremiah. He didn't know how he felt, really - his mind flashed back to the looks they'd shared over messy blueprints, and the sleepless nights they'd passed, feeling not-so-alone in a way that he didn't know how to explain even to himself.

Jeremiah didn't respond. However, an unread symbol popped up over the Legion of Horribles chat. Bruce ran a hand through his hair and clicked on it, wondering what kinds of crime people could be planning this early.

> **clownboiii || jerome** : said it before and i'll say it again, gettin shot Blows
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : blows holes in me anyway
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha

Bruce was officially wide awake. How could he have forgotten? He'd been so sure Jerome was dead: he'd seen his body sprawled out on the roof of a car, half-surprised smile still scrawled across his face and blood blossoming from too many bullet holes in his coat. His fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment, hesitant.

> **darkknight** : Jerome?

Maybe it wasn't him, right? It could be a fake.

> **clownboiii || jerome** : the one, the only, the greatest!!

That was a very Jerome Valeska answer, admittedly.

> **FIREFLY** : wasn't the guy who wrote Catcher in the Rye named Jerome?
> 
> **riddle.me.this** : Jerome David Salinger
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : so?????
> 
> **FIREFLY** : classic author. teenage psycho
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : i'll kick your flamethrower ass

Bruce felt somewhat in shock. Jerome was alive.

> **darkknight** : how did you survive?

Jerome typed quickly, especially considering he should've been dead and buried.

> **clownboiii || jerome** : turns out i pretty much don't die i guess, big ol shoutout to my boy hugo strange
> 
> **Jeremiah** : Unfortunately.
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : stfu gas boy

Jeremiah added a reaction to that: a thumbs-down emoji.

> **zsasz-hands** : so i'm hearing: petition to change @Jeremiah's nickname to gas boy?
> 
> **Penguin** 🐧☂️: No.
> 
> **zsasz-hands** : petition to change pengy's nickname to buzzkill?
> 
> **riddle.me.this** : No
> 
> **kittycat :3** : 2 bros sittin in a hot tub

That was interesting. Was Selina implying that Cobblepot and Nygma might be romantically involved?

Dr. Fries chimed in.

> **Victor F** ❄️: I need a hand with an experiment. Anyone free?
> 
> **xx_poison_ivy_xx:** no sorry! gm everyone btw!
> 
> **FIREFLY** : gm ivy
> 
> **scarecrow** 🎃: In terms of freedom: from this mortal coil? I wish but yes I'm not busy
> 
> **Victor F** ❄️: Great, you know where to find me. I got a new ice cream also, that I think you'll like.
> 
> **scarecrow** 🎃: Nice
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : i want icecreammmm!!!!!!!!!

xx_poison_ivy_xx: i think we have some in the freezer actually

So Ivy and Jerome were in the same building, presumably living together. It was an unlikely pairing. Who else might be with them?

> **clownboiii || jerome** : i'm sickkkkkkkk i got shottttttttttt
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : baby meeeeeeeeee
> 
> **Jeremiah** : Advertising weakness? Nice move.
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : your a snake and nobody likes you
> 
> **Jeremiah** : *you're
> 
> **Jeremiah** : And at least I am not desperately seeking attention at all times.
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : uhhhhhh
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : does the name Bruce ring a bell

Bruce blushed.

> **kittycat :3** : Shots Fired also yall gotta chill w him

_Thank you, Selina._

> **Jeremiah** : I regret shooting you only non-fatally.

This was strange.

> **darkknight** : are you fighting over Bruce Wayne?
> 
> **zsasz-hands** : get used to it, these three are ridiculous
> 
> **zsasz-hands** : both valeskas have psycho obsessive crushes on the kid and he's cat's bestie
> 
> **xx_poison_ivy_xx** : wait selina what about me?????

There was a pause.

> **kittycat :3** : you're my gf dumbass
> 
> **xx_poison_ivy_xx** : ❤️❤️❤️

Selina hadn't told him she was dating Ivy. Bruce frowned. Was she worried he wouldn't be supportive? Had he given her that impression somehow? He had to find a way to bring it up. No - that would mean giving away that he was in the Horribles server. This was something to think about later.

> **clownboiii || jerome** : get a rooooooom
> 
> **clownboiii || jerome** : ooooh better yet set up a double date w me and Brucie

And with that, Bruce closed the app.


End file.
